Here’s a fun thing that crossed my desk that I thought I would share with my readership. It’s a list of seventeen different things to look for in someone who’s lying.

This is NOT posted here to boost paranoia; rather, I encourage you to have fun with this list. The truth is (…listen for the irony in this sentence…), everyone lies. Lying is a part of life. It’s typically NOT a part of malicious intent. Nine out of ten times, it’s because someone wants to be “kind” to you.

Having said that, here is the list of seventeen things to look for when looking for someone who is less than honest:

1. Body language speaks louder than words. If the person you’re speaking to is fidgety, wringing their hands, or fiddling with their hair, these are often clues that they’re lying. Sometimes it might be nervousness because they are shy or naturally introverted; however, if the person you’re talking to isn’t known for being shy or nervous, then chances are they’re lying.
2. A liar will often cross his or her arms across their body as they speak. They may even move objects like books or cups to create a barrier between the two of you.
3. Eye contact is another thing to pay attention to when trying to spot a liar. When you’re being lied to, the other person often won’t look at you directly in the eye. They’ll look down, off to the side, and every other place just to avoid direct eye contact with you.
4. When a liar says contradictory things, it’s an obvious sign that they’re lying. Listen for discrepancies in their stories.
5. The tone of voice changes when lying. Listen for high pitched or lower tones than their normal speaking voice.
6. Liars tend to avoid details when speaking. Often they just stick to the bold facts and leave out small details in order to keep their story straight.
7. When talking to a liar, he or she will often hesitate in their speech while thinking up a lie to fit the occasion. This could be clearing their throat, taking a deep breath or simply pausing before responding.
8. Eye movement is another thing to look for when spotting a liar. All people naturally move their eyes, unconsciously, one way or another when they are in conversation. If a person looks to their right (your left) they are often constructing lies. If they look to their left (your right) they’re truly drawing upon their memory in response.
9. Changing the subject away from the current conversation is another clue that you’re being lied to. Often liars will fill a conversation with obscure details that detract from the topic at hand in order to avoid telling the truth.
10. People who lie tend to steer away from using pronouns like ‘I’ or ‘we.’
11. Liars will often use humor or sarcasm to avoid a subject.
12. Liars feel guilty and may storm off or act out in anger to hide their deception.
13. Research shows that, when a person is dishonest, they tend to touch their nose a lot.
14. Heavy breathing, sweating or a tight jaw is another indicator that you may be lied to.
15. If questioned enough, liars won’t be able to remember all the details of a lie or string of lies they’ve told. Most liars will attack or leave before they’re caught.
16. Touching the face may indicate a person is lying or uncomfortable. The higher up on the face, the worse the lie is.
17. A hunched over posture is another indication of a liar. Confident people sit up straight with their shoulder back. Insecure people sit hunched over with their hands in their pockets. It’s also interesting to note that studies have shown those who are insecure are more prone to lie.

Look for these signs, but beware before you accuse someone of lying! As many can tell you, you will see what you are looking for, no matter what you are looking AT. Notice your own habits when you are telling that “white” lie.

If you notice someone else “lying” (or at least, conveying some of the above behavior that leads you to that conclusion), try changing YOUR approach in a way that allows them to be more honest with you. Ask that question differently. Hold strong judgments in greater reserve.

And remember, that what you see in this world is actually a reflection of who YOU are!

To your success!

Britt Santowski

What are you worth?

There’s a kernel of truth inside the answer to this question, so go ahead, ask yourself. How much would you say you’re worth?

The answer is the value you place on yourself. Just like anything of value, the self can fluctuate up and down in worth for any number of reasons! I’m  willing to bet you’ve had your share of ups and downs. Did you know that there are ways you can increase your self-worth each and every day?

We all have value, whether we believe it or not. On a very superficial level, consider this: a human being is lost in an avalanche, and the rescue team spends “whatever it takes” to find and rescue this person. The team does NOT sit down first and assess whether this person is “worthy” of rescuing. The underlying assumption is that this person is a human being, and as such, that person’s life is worth 100% of the resources that it costs to retain that person’s existence.

Your inherent value comes from your very existence; it is further augmented by your own set of skills and talents, ideas and strengths.

If you think of worth in terms of financial worth, we can get a good idea of how we can increase our own self-worth. With money, the way to increase worth is to make more money. You can make more money by taking specific actions in your business.

Sounds obvious, right? Well it is! Self-worth works the same way. You can increase your self-worth by focusing on the things that make up your worth.

Here are some things you can begin doing right now to increase your self-worth:

1. Enjoy a new hobby. Your skill set is a big determination of your self-worth. The more you can do — and do well — the better you feel about yourself. That’s why you’ll want to consider adding to your list of hobbies or recreational activities.

• The more you enjoy what you do in your life, the more you’ll also enjoy who you are as a person.

2. Take a class. As with hobbies, learning something new is a great way to add to your self-worth. It’s like a deposit into your knowledge bank.

There are plenty of options for this choice:

• Take a class at a local community college.
• Register for an online seminar.
• Look in the local newspaper for free classes in your area.
• Call your local school district. They offer inexpensive continuing education classes in almost every subject imaginable, including hobbies!

3. Read more. Reading is a wonderful way to stimulate the mind. When you spark your imagination, new ideas emerge from the depths. Nothing builds self-worth like learning more about the world you live in!

• Maybe you’ve always wanted to be an inventor. If so, you can generate some ideas by researching and reading information about your ideas.

4. Learn a language. There are a huge number of tools available that can assist you in mastering a new language. Learning new languages builds self-worth because it allows you to communicate on a completely different level with others.

5. Do something out of the ordinary. Take a chance, conquer a challenge, and step out of your comfort zone. These kinds of activities stretch you as an individual. Doing something you never imagined gives you a glimpse of your true potential.

Anything that boosts your self-confidence will also increase your self-worth, since they’re directly related. On the other hand, our self-worth becomes stagnant if we become arrogant and believe that we’ve accomplished all we can in life.

Start each day by making the commitment to your success. After all, you are worthy of great things! Even if you have a hard time believing this, take action anyway because where action is, emotions will follow.

Try something new, pick one of the topics from above, give it a shot and see for yourself how much of a difference it makes. Just remember the great words of Henry Ford: “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.”

Which will you choose?

To your continued success!

Britt Santowski

Are you a parent AND an entrepreneur running your own business? Then you know how hard it is to motivate them to do their chores! Sometimes, I swear it’s easier to run my own business than to get my child to do her chores! Grin.

Between after school and/or daycare, after school activities, video games, cell phones, computers, and television, convincing your kids to take care of their household chores and other responsibilities can be a real challenge.

And to those of you who have more than one child, you well know that not every method of motivation will work with your child. Also, what works for one child may be detrimental to another!

As parents, it’s easy to fall into the trap of wanting to be a friend to your child, but your goal is to be their leader, teacher, and motivator, too! Les Brown, a motivational guru guy, says that sometimes you’ve got to be prepared for your child to hate you.

BTW, I head this one off at the pass by telling my daughter — yes, I only have the one — that it is my job as mother to love her no matter what; it is NOT her job as child to love me no matter what. All kids inevitably utter those words, “I HATE YOU” to their parents. It’s an understandable attempt to “hurt” the parent who has just ever so horribly “hurt” the child (by making her clean her room!).

Here are a few things you can try to help motivate your kids to get things done:

1. Kids love praise. Your kids want your attention and praise. If they know that doing the things they’re supposed to do will bring them praise, they’re more likely to do those things. You’re their parent and they want to make you proud of them.

• By encouraging them and praising them frequently, you’re reinforcing good behavior.

2. Offer rewards. Often, children are motivated by rewards. The rewards don’t have to be large or involve money. You can reward your children by:

1. Spending time with them doing an activity they enjoy
2. Reading to them
3. Playing games with them
4. Curling up and watching a movie together

• All of these rewards are positive motivators for your children. They’ll be much more eager to do their household chores if the reward is something they can look forward to.

3. Lead by example. If your kids see you doing nothing all day long, they’ll feel as if it’s okay for them to do the same thing. Remember that your children are like a sponge and they look up to you and want to emulate you.

• Show your kids that regular tasks can be rewarding. I like to emphasize that getting things done when they are a small job beats the heck out of doing a two-hour clean up at the end of the week!

4. Fear of consequences. There’s a big difference between consequences and punishment. When your children don’t do the things they’re supposed to do, you can teach them how their actions or inactions can have a negative impact on their lives and the lives of others.

• Take something away for a short period and explain why you’re doing it and how they can earn it back. This example of natural and logical consequences is essential preparation for adult life.

5. Show love. Your children need and want your love and devotion. Get involved in their lives. If your child is really interested in something, do it with them!

• Showing children you appreciate them and respect their choices will build a deeper bond between you. When you ask them to get something done, they’ll be more likely to do it because of the mutual respect between you.

Motivating your children isn’t always easy. It takes dedication and consistency to provide the example and direction needed to build a child’s character.

While it may seem easier to throw in the towel and do things yourself, standing steadfast and finding new ways to motivate your kids is much more likely to help him become a productive, responsible adult.

As a parent, it’s your job to mold your children into caring, responsible and respectful adults. Remember, children are people too and are motivated by the same things that motivate anyone else.

Things like love, attention, pleasure, rewards and recognition top the list of things children crave in their lives. Heaping these essential motivators onto your children will provide great rewards throughout their lives.

The following text is from the self-acclaimed Self Esteem Queen, Dawn from Facebook. She rocks my world! Check her out!

EVERYTHING THAT FOLLOWS BELOW IS FROM DAWN…

I am happy to announce that I am starting a media tour for my upcoming book – Dear Diary: A Letter to my Sister – my story about my life as a teenager in the streets of California as a prostitute while I overcame adversity thrown my way to graduate from a prestigious University and become a self made millionaire by 26…..

My tour starts this Sunday on The Authentic You Show with Wendy Franklin Muhammad

I want to invite you to listen in on my talk show Sunday, August 9, 2009 at 7pm CST

MEET MY UPCOMING SHOW GUEST!

A MUST FOR ALL TEENS, PARENTS, EDUCATORS AND MENTORS. THIS IS ONE YOU DON’T WANT TO MISS.

My featured guest, Dawn Johnson, world renowned, “The Self Esteem Queen” talks about her new book “Dear Diary: A Letter To My Sister“. She discusses how she turned her life around after abandonment, abuse, teen prostitution and why she is dedicated to rescuing teen prostitutes.

A compelling story of resilience, survival and victory.

CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ABANDON YOUR CHILD!

To listen to the show call 347-215-7033 or log in to http://www.blogtalkradio.c om/TheAuthenticYouRadio, Sunday, August 9, 2009, 7pm CST / 5pm PST.

Wishing You Peace and Abundance,

Wendy Franklin Muhammad, The Authenticity Coach (TM)

“My personal goal is to

provide mental, physical, spiritual and/or financial increase to everyone I’m connected to. “

The Authentic You, LLC

www.TheAuthenticYouOnline. com

www.BlogTalkRadio.com/TheA uthenticYouRadio

**************************

There are abundant opportunities in life for laughter.

Laughter can cure ailments. Laughter conquers depression. Laughter can seep into the corner of your mind and take you places you didn’t even know existed.

Laughter is good for both my body and mind, so I make a point of cultivating humor in my life.

Sometimes humor comes to me in flashy neon pink, billboard-style, and can’t be missed. But much of the time the laughter in my life springs from everyday things: a child first learning to kick a ball or a cat chasing her shadow.

I slow down and pay attention to what is going on around me so that I do not miss out on these moments.

If my five year old princess daughter paints her face with my lipstick, I can wail about the waste or moan about the necessary clean up. Or I can laugh at her youthful silliness and grab my camera, choosing to relish this special moment. (Okay, honesty time here: I’ve done both!)

I can choose to laugh at myself, too. By seeing the humor in my occasional mishaps, I avoid taking myself too seriously and keep minor annoyances in perspective.

Such obvious enjoyment of life makes me more approachable to others and leads to better and more productive relationships.

I let go of the idea that life must always be serious. I create opportunities to seek out people who also see the humorous side of life. I indulge in comedy often, knowing that hearty laughter makes me healthier in my body, mind, and spirit.

Laughing out loud (most of the time!),

Britt

(this entry comes to you by way of I’m Allowed!)