Here’s a fun thing that crossed my desk that I thought I would share with my readership. It’s a list of seventeen different things to look for in someone who’s lying.

This is NOT posted here to boost paranoia; rather, I encourage you to have fun with this list. The truth is (…listen for the irony in this sentence…), everyone lies. Lying is a part of life. It’s typically NOT a part of malicious intent. Nine out of ten times, it’s because someone wants to be “kind” to you.

Having said that, here is the list of seventeen things to look for when looking for someone who is less than honest:

1. Body language speaks louder than words. If the person you’re speaking to is fidgety, wringing their hands, or fiddling with their hair, these are often clues that they’re lying. Sometimes it might be nervousness because they are shy or naturally introverted; however, if the person you’re talking to isn’t known for being shy or nervous, then chances are they’re lying.
2. A liar will often cross his or her arms across their body as they speak. They may even move objects like books or cups to create a barrier between the two of you.
3. Eye contact is another thing to pay attention to when trying to spot a liar. When you’re being lied to, the other person often won’t look at you directly in the eye. They’ll look down, off to the side, and every other place just to avoid direct eye contact with you.
4. When a liar says contradictory things, it’s an obvious sign that they’re lying. Listen for discrepancies in their stories.
5. The tone of voice changes when lying. Listen for high pitched or lower tones than their normal speaking voice.
6. Liars tend to avoid details when speaking. Often they just stick to the bold facts and leave out small details in order to keep their story straight.
7. When talking to a liar, he or she will often hesitate in their speech while thinking up a lie to fit the occasion. This could be clearing their throat, taking a deep breath or simply pausing before responding.
8. Eye movement is another thing to look for when spotting a liar. All people naturally move their eyes, unconsciously, one way or another when they are in conversation. If a person looks to their right (your left) they are often constructing lies. If they look to their left (your right) they’re truly drawing upon their memory in response.
9. Changing the subject away from the current conversation is another clue that you’re being lied to. Often liars will fill a conversation with obscure details that detract from the topic at hand in order to avoid telling the truth.
10. People who lie tend to steer away from using pronouns like ‘I’ or ‘we.’
11. Liars will often use humor or sarcasm to avoid a subject.
12. Liars feel guilty and may storm off or act out in anger to hide their deception.
13. Research shows that, when a person is dishonest, they tend to touch their nose a lot.
14. Heavy breathing, sweating or a tight jaw is another indicator that you may be lied to.
15. If questioned enough, liars won’t be able to remember all the details of a lie or string of lies they’ve told. Most liars will attack or leave before they’re caught.
16. Touching the face may indicate a person is lying or uncomfortable. The higher up on the face, the worse the lie is.
17. A hunched over posture is another indication of a liar. Confident people sit up straight with their shoulder back. Insecure people sit hunched over with their hands in their pockets. It’s also interesting to note that studies have shown those who are insecure are more prone to lie.

Look for these signs, but beware before you accuse someone of lying! As many can tell you, you will see what you are looking for, no matter what you are looking AT. Notice your own habits when you are telling that “white” lie.

If you notice someone else “lying” (or at least, conveying some of the above behavior that leads you to that conclusion), try changing YOUR approach in a way that allows them to be more honest with you. Ask that question differently. Hold strong judgments in greater reserve.

And remember, that what you see in this world is actually a reflection of who YOU are!

To your success!

Britt Santowski