Today, we’re going to look at the third kind of person, the person who relates Kinesthetically, or with their body.

There are three relating styles: kinesthetic, visual, and auditory. Kinesthetic oriented people respond to touch and act on how they feel. Kinesthetic people like to engage in affectionate rough housing, as well as being held for long periods of time.

Kinesthetic persons often use terms such as these in conversation:

• “I just felt as if…”
• “I’ll handle it.”
• “I feel like we really connected.”
• “Take it easy.”

Physical contact and feelings are their primary love language. Kinesthetic people often feel overwhelmed or feel picked on in a verbal conflict.

When communicating with a kinesthetic oriented person, a soft touch on the arm means you care, you’re interested, and you’re listening. Often the kinesthetic person will touch you as they are speaking as well.

In the work field, a handshake is often offered and expected by a kinesthetic person. Not only is a handshake proper and a sign of respect to the kinesthetic person, but it is also a personal connection. In addition, they may put their arm around your shoulders while walking and talking. This is how they communicate and connect.

Kinesthetic people are hard to motivate, however, because they often can’t get past how they’re feeling in the moment. They are very emotionally driven and often let their emotions control their actions. Kinesthetic oriented persons also react to gut instincts and tend not to base decisions on reason or logic.

Kinesthetic Relating in Love Relationships

In a relationship with a kinesthetic oriented person, if you don’t touch them often, they may not feel loved by you. They may feel rejected and not even know why.

If your loved one is saying things like, “You never touch me,” or “You never cuddle with me anymore,” their love tank may be empty. Fill it up with some meaningful and long snuggles on the couch, a big bear hug or a nice back massage. Then keep their hearts filled by giving them the touching, hugging, and snuggling they are thirsting for.

Understanding the Three Different Relating Styles

It’s important in all relationships, including your spouse, children, siblings, friends or co-workers, to understand the different relating styles, as well as how to communicate effectively using them.

Visual

For the visually oriented person, using picture words is the best way to communicate. The best gifts for the visually oriented person are tangible gifts, or one’s they can actually “see” such as:

• Books
• Cards or notes
• Flowers

When speaking to the visually oriented person, look them directly in the eye and expect to be “examined” by them as well. Be aware of your body language and facial expressions, as they’ll be determining if they trust what you’re saying based on those two elements.

Auditory

For the auditory oriented person, communicating in soft tones and positive affirmations says you care and are interested in them. The best gifts for the auditory oriented person are:

• Music
• Audio books
• Concerts

Verbal communication is very important to the auditory oriented person. They process issues or problems by talking them out. If the auditory oriented person doesn’t hear the words “I love you” frequently enough, they may not feel loved.

How to Tell Which Type of Person You’re Dealing With

Knowing how to determine someone’s relating style is important and can usually be determined in the first few minutes after meeting for the first time. If the person looks you directly in the eye or seems to “look you up and down,” they’re visual. If they do most of the talking right away, they’re most likely an auditory type of person. If they touch you on the arm or reach for a handshake immediately, they’re kinesthetic.

Just knowing these few characteristics will help you strengthen your current relationships and start off on the right foot when getting to know someone new.

Today, we’re looking at how to best communicate with an Auditory type person in both your business practices and otherwise.

Different people have different styles of relating to others. There are three identified styles of relating and auditory relating is one of these. The other two are visual (discussed yesterday) and kinesthetic (wait for it … tomorrow!).

The auditory relating style refers to those people who respond to and are stimulated by what they hear.

Auditory persons learn more effectively by hearing rather than by seeing. Using audio, as well as reading aloud, is a great way to teach the auditory oriented person.

The auditory oriented person best responds to expressions of love in the form of words of affirmation and compliments. The best gifts for an auditory person are:

• Music
• Audio books
• Concerts
• Anything that involves the use of their hearing sense

Auditory Relating in Relationships

The auditory person loves the sound of their voice! He can sit and chat for hours and he feels loved when this happens.

Auditory people are sensitive to another’s tone of voice and can be easily offended when given criticism or correction. Therefore, using softer tones and beginning criticism or correction with positive affirmations is the best way to communicate with auditory people.

Auditory Relating and Conflict

An auditory person processes issues by talking things through; unless it’s something big, then they usually prefer quiet time. In addition, the auditory person likes to have the last word and usually gets it. Plus, they tend to be good at debating and getting others to talk as well.

Auditory persons are sensitive to the sounds of nature and often find peace when walking through the woods, by a crackling fire or strolling by a running river. Add these types of activities to a great conversation and you’re speaking their love language.

The easiest way to identify an auditory oriented person is by listening to their expressions. They often use phrases like:

• “Hear me out.”
• “Listen to what I’m saying.”
• “I didn’t hear that clearly.”
• “We need to talk.”
• “I can tell by your tone…”

Tips for Working with an Auditory Oriented Person

If your boss is an auditory oriented person, she’ll expect you to communicate through meetings, instead of email or memos. She may even find email or memos to be offensive or less meaningful than a phone call or meeting.

In addition, if you need to address a problem or issue, you will want to begin the conversation with positive affirmations about what you like about a person or the project before you get into the issue. An auditory person will then be more open to receiving your ideas and won’t be so quick to put up any walls.

Auditory oriented people tend to be more sensitive to breathing sounds, sighs and grunts, and often read into these noises as if something’s wrong. If you’re a heavy sigh-er, for instance, you may often be asked, “What’s wrong?” every time you take a deep breath. Once you communicate to the sensitive person that nothing’s wrong, eventually they’ll get used to your breathing sounds.

The Main Points

Once you learn how to identify an auditory person, relating to them will be easier. Here are the main points to remember once you’ve determined you’re dealing with a person who relates via sound:

1. Be sensitive when speaking.
2. Use appropriate tones of voice.
3. Begin criticism or correction with positive affirmations.

In addition, they like to hear compliments and the words “I love you” repeatedly. These are things the auditory person never tires of. In fact, if you don’t compliment them or say “I love you” often enough, the auditory person may begin to feel unloved.

If you’re in a marriage with an auditory type person and they are constantly saying, “You don’t love me” or “You never say you love me,” you’re probably not speaking their love language. To help with communication and make them feel loved, speak adorning words more frequently.

Communication is a lot easier when we know and understand our loved ones relating style, whether it is auditory, visual or kinesthetic. Now that you can identify an auditory oriented person, you will be able to express your love for them easier and relate to them using their love language.